FML
by Deathly Noted
Summary: FML moments for the Death Note characters.
1. Light's FML

**Author's Note:** This is a parody on the website FMyLife, so if you haven't been there before, you might want to take a look before reading this.

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><p>Today, I wrote a list of CDs I wanted to buy from the store. Turns out I accidentally wrote it on a scrap from my Death Note, and all of my favorite singers died. FML<p>

I agree, your life sucks (1) – you deserved it (9993x10^3)

miscellaneous – by Light Yagami (god) – Japan (Kanto)

COMMENTS

Light-kun is a fan of Aya Ueto too? P.S. I will never forgive you.

by L

Your taste in music sucks. Try Freezepop.

by Matt


	2. Misa's FML

Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he couldn't get it up until I mentioned how many names I'd written for him in the Death Note. FML

I agree, your life sucks (3) – you deserved it (2403849320)

intimacy – by Misa Amane (whore) – Japan (Kanto)

COMMENTS

Have you tried some foreplay, such as discussing politics or the meaning of justice? I have heard from a very reliable source that it works.

by L


	3. Near's FML

Today, I was finally ousted from the number one position at Wammy's House. FML

I agree, your life sucks (3453243445522112222) – you deserved it (0)

miscellaneous – by Near (robot) – England (Winchester)

COMMENTS

Near, that is not funny, Mello has been freaking out all night about getting second place again and now he is attempting to asphyxiate himself with his rosary. You're such an asshole.

by Matt

You should go outside sometime, and never come back.

by Linda


	4. Matt's FML

Today, I confessed my love to Mello by giving him a candy heart that said 'I love you'. He yelled at me and asked where his chocolate was. FML

I agree, your life sucks (43958392 fangirls) – you deserved it (0)

love – by Matt (dog) – England (Winchester)

COMMENTS

Haha, good one, Matt. I was wondering why you gave me that candy, but now I get it. You are such a joker.

by Mello

...

by Matt


	5. Matt's FML 2

Today, I died a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks (739275022234221144) – you deserved it (310)

intimacy – by Matt (gamer) – Japan (Kanto)

COMMENTS

Me too. FYI virgin is the new sex god.

by Mello

Me too… unless Light counts, but I don't think so.

by L

Are you implying that I am bad in bed?

by Light Yagami

No, I am implying that you are not even human. You are a monster who kills other people for his own sick pleasure.

by L

Well then clearly that's what you get off on as well.

by Light Yagami

Perhaps.

by L

...Somehow I don't feel so bad anymore.

by Matt


	6. BB's FML

Today, I discovered that jam isn't made from human brains. FML

I agree, your life sucks (3) – you deserved it (0)

miscellaneous – by BB (serial killer) – United States (Los Angeles)

COMMENTS

I know, I too was disappointed when I discovered that candy is made _for_ children rather than _from_ children. Takes all of the fun out of it, doesn't it?

by L

Me too, I thought potato chips were made from sparkles, but then L told me it's just grease. =(

by Light Yagami

Haha I win, cocoa beans really are made by underpaid slave laborers!

by Mello


	7. Matsuda's FML

Today, I said something so mind-numbingly stupid that the girl I wanted to marry fell into a catatonic state from which she may never recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks (45) – you deserved it (6859302024)

health – by Touta Matsuda (idiot) – Japan (Kanto)

COMMENTS

What the hell did you do to my sister, you bastard! (L, are you reading this? See how kind and caring I am? There is no way I am Kira.)

by Light Yagami


	8. Ryuk's FML

Today, I found out that every time you swallow an apple seed, it grows into a baby in your stomach. I think I am pregnant with upwards of a thousand apple-children. FML

I agree, your life sucks (666) – you deserved it (78890293)

kids – by Ryuk (apple addict) – Mu (Shinigami Realm)

COMMENTS

That's watermelons, silly!

by Misa Amane

I thought it was pretzels that made you pregnant?

by Touta Matsuda

It's probably pointless to say this considering who I am dealing with, but pretzels don't even have seeds...

by Light Yagami

You mean salt isn't a type of seed?

by Touta Matsuda


	9. Ryuk's FML 2

Today, I killed my pet human because he was getting boring. Then I got even more bored. When I tried to find a replacement, I realized that it will be impossible to find anyone as crazy as Light was, not even in a mental institution. FML

I agree, your life sucks (5) – you deserved it (743245299394004)

miscellaneous – by Ryuk (human watcher) – Mu (Shinigami Realm)

COMMENTS

You are only now realizing my brilliance and glory, Ryuk?

by Light Yagami

Did you even read the whole paragraph, Light-kun, or do you just have selective reading?

by L

Shut up, I won first place in the world speed-reading competition!

by Light Yagami

There is no such thing.

by L

Is too!

by Light Yagami

Is not.

by L

Is too!

by Light Yagami

Is not.

by L

Is too!

by Light Yagami

(Click to read next 100 comments…)


	10. Soichiro's FML

Today, my son found and corrected seven grammar mistakes in the police report I'd written up. He's three years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks (56) – you deserved it (92748920)

kids – by Soichiro Yagami (father of the frankengenius) – Japan (Kanto)

COMMENTS

Just wait until he grows up and tries to correct the world.

by L


End file.
